Noble Pen Meeting

September 30, 2010
The Family Restaurant formerly known as Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Robert: I don’t believe it. It’s Bill.

Mark: Okay, just be cool, don’t stare, you’ll go blind.

Robert: And he’s perusing porno. All right! I gotta go over there and talk to him, man!

Mark: A… wha… wha… no. All over the world, from as far off as the Caspian sea, people have been running up to Bill and acting like idiots. Why must you be one of them?

Robert: Because NOW it’s MY turn! I mean, don’t you want to go over there and talk to him and see what he’s like? I mean William Shatner made us who we are today!

Mark: Do you want to insult the man? Respect his space.

Robert: I do respect his space: it’s the final frontier…

—Free Enterprise

Victories

We were joined by Kris and Kelly(sp?)

Tyree’s fourth novel, Nyx II, will arrive from the printer about fifteen minutes after he leaves for Mississippi.

Tony’s story The Tunnels of St. Lucy’s may be appearing shortly in a Sams Dot publication. Why is it the pieces which don’t get my advice that always do the best?

Tony also withdrew his piece from Flash Fiction Online and sent it to Science Fiction Daily. I believe the process is much like this.

News

Nanowrimo is just over a month away. Cut off your friends now.

In an odd turn of events, Harlan Ellison has announced his death. When questioned on why he was going to die, the author responded, “An old dog senses when it’s his time — dogs have that capacity; nobody doubts that. Nobody. But everybody doubts when you say, ‘I’m dying.’ They think you’re being a Victorian actress. They think you’re doing Bernhardt.”

Housekeeping

Happy Chef is Dead. Long Live the Chef of Indeterminable Emotion.

For those of you who weren’t around last week, we have good and bad news about the Happy Chef. They will shut their doors Tuesday night, but they will re-open Thursday, in time for our next meeting, with as Scott’s. The upshot of this is as long as we are welcome we will not be moving. There is, however, bad news. With the reorganization, some of the staff are being let go, including Loretta, who even made us treats at the last meeting.

Homework

If everyone could bring a pen or pencil (plus one for those who don’t read this) next week, that would be great.

Upcoming Schedule

September 30th
Ian
Dylan
Educational Programming — Shannon

October 7th
Tony
Ciuin
Bob

October 14th
Shannon
Nick
Mark

October 21
Tyree
Tony
Dylan

October 28
Bob
Shannon
Educational – Looking for Volunteer

November 4
Tyree

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 23, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids (for now)

“Why are we drinking Zima? It’s beyond irony. It’s not funny or anything. It’s just gross. Why not just serve us jugs of Hitler’s piss instead?”
“Drinking Zima is something Douglas Coupland would make a character do.”
“To what end?”
“It’d be a device that would allow him to locate the characters in time and a specific sort of culture.”
–Douglas Coupland, jPod

Victories

Julia has signed up for a writing class at Kirkwood and came to check us out.

Tyree’s lesbian werewolf story has been accepted to an anthology, while my were-carp snuff story remains unsold, and I thought it would be like shooting fish in a barrel.

Tony sent a follow-up query to Flash Fiction Online, who are letting his story ripen like a batch of kimchi.

Ciuin has written her last story of City Revealed. I predict this will be their Waterloo, or at least their Cedar Falls.

News

This list of grammar tips helped me realize I was incorrectly using i.e. when I should have been using e.g.

Nathan Bransford gives advice on how to deal with contradictory query advice.

Housekeeping

Scheduling

Taking many of your suggestions on scheduling into consideration, I kludged together a tweak of our old system. Here’s how it works.

When we get within a month of having an empty slot, I ask who wants a slot and record the names of everyone who wants one along with date constraints (e.g. I can’t make it the 28th.) These names constitute a “round” of critiques. I try to fit them in in a sensible order. When we run within a month of empty slots again, I will start a new round.

New scheduled critiques (the first round) are indicated below by an asterisk(*). Hopefully, I got everything right, but if not, we can reshuffle.

* I managed to spell asterisk correctly–first try!

Upcoming Schedule

September 23rd
Dylan
Bob
Dave

September 30th
Ian
Dylan
Educational Programming — Shannon

October 7th
Tony
Ciuin
Bob

October 14th
Shannon
*Nick
*Mark

October 21
Tyree
*Tony
*Dylan

October 28
*Bob
*Shannon
Educational – Looking for Volunteer

November 4
*Tyree

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 16th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

You’re going to listen to *me*? To something that *I* said? Hell, most of the time I’m just talking out of my ass… or sticking my hand in it.
-Brody Bruce, Mallrats

Victories

I submitted Fangs for Nothing to the ICON Writers’ Workshop. They already accepted it, because they will take literally anything which comes in first. Well, okay, not literally anything. I don’t think they would have accepted naked pictures of Hugh Hefner.

Ciuin told stories at the New Bohemia Festival, including original stories. She got positive feedback from the audience, which we can reasonably assume were not recently release from a psychiatric institution.

The magazine which accepted Nick’s photograph came out, and as a special bonus, they printed his picture in invisible ink and didn’t tell him which page it was on.

News

A political science professor writes an article about academic writing which still has some interesting point

NPR says books are sold through word of mouth. Originally, I read that as word of moth, which sounds intriguing, but would probably not be too effective.

Upcoming Schedule

September 16th
Tony
Nick
Mark

September 23rd
Dylan
Bob
Dave

September 30th
Ian
Dylan
Educational Programming — Shannon

October 7th
Tony
Ciuin
Bob

October 14th
Shannon
Tyree
Open slot

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 9nd, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Drop your weapons. You’re surrounded by armed bastards.
–Gene Hunt, Life on Mars

He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
–Douglas Adam, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

These T-shirts were tested on animals. They didn’t fit.
—Merchandise from BBC’s Top Gear

Victories

Nick had two rejections from the same magazine. The second one was just a crude drawing of an Italian hand gesture.

Ciuin started a blog and is writing or pasting in something new every day. Looks like she’s already behind. Taunt her.

Tyree lent a book to Ciuin who has not returned it yet–if she did, the door would keep blowing closed.

News

Sir Terry Pratchett talks about dealing with death while writing fantasy.

Editor and writing coach Daphne Gray-Grant writes about the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Writers.

Upcoming Schedule

September 9th
Tyree
Dylan
Shannon

September 16th
Tony
Nick
Mark

September 23rd
Dylan
Bob
Dave

September 30th
Ian
Dylan
Educational Programming — Shannon

October 7th
Tony
Ciuin
Bob

October 14th
Shannon
Tyree
Open slot

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 2nd, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

My name is Victoria Winters. My journey is beginning, a journey that I hope will open the doors of life to me and link my past with my future, a journey that will bring me to a strange and dark place, to the edge of the sea, high atop Widows’ Hill, a house called Collinwood, a world I’ve never known, with people I’ve never met, people who tonight are still only shadows in my mind, but who will soon fill the days and nights of my tomorrows.
–Opening Monologue, Dark Shadows, Episode 1, 1966

Victories

Ciuin has been asked to take a class which will make her a writing fellow. I think this means we’ll have to address her as “My fine fellow.”

Dylan got a reader’s choice and editor’s choice for his last contest entry. He also has a new commission. It’s a sick world out there.

Tony was able to struggle through and prepare his chapter for next week, despite the ongoing Mafia Wars. Why can’t the mafias just get along?

Housekeeping

We decided on 3 changes to scheduling last week.

1. We will be going to 3 critiques a week, starting September 9th. I am going to adjust the schedule below. Please note your new dates and tell me if there are any changes you need made.

B. We will suspend scheduling for the next few weeks to make room for further discussion and see how the 3 per week works.

Pi. We will return to scheduling at least one educational program per month instead of just scheduling when we have an empty slot. I’m volunteering for the first slot, there’s been something I wanted to try all summer.

News

Janet Reid posted something older than God. I still find it very funny.

Character, character, character, character, character, character. Oh, and did I mention character?

Upcoming Schedule

September 2nd
Nick
Tony

September 9th
Tyree
Dylan
Shannon

September 16th
Tony
Dave
Mark

September 23rd
Dylan
Bob
Nick

September 30th
Ian
Dylan
Educational Programming — Shannon

October 7th
Tony
Ciuin
Bob

October 14th
Shannon
Tyree
Open slot

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

August 26th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Artists are people who say I can’t fix my country or my state or my city, or even my marriage. But by golly, I can make this square of canvas, or this eight and a half by eleven piece of paper, or this lump of clay or these twelve bars of music, exactly what they ought to be.
–Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

Victories

Nick got back the professional critique of his cowboy novel. His condition is listed as stable.

Dave got paid for writing, not just the promise of, but actual money.

Ciuin sent Petty Theft to an agent, who seems very interested. I am immediately adding more Nazis to all my stories.

Tony thanks everyone for the fine comments on his last chapter, which he has already acted upon–in a good way, no stomping or cursing or anything.

Rachel has returned to school and is, by now, studying commercial music, which I think involves using all four chords.

Housekeeping

Now that we have grown to around a dozen regular and semi-regular members, maybe we need to readdress how we do scheduling. I want to keep it relatively simple, but make it a little less random. I’m just throwing this out as an idea, to see what people think.

I’m thinking of a 2 round lottery type system, where on the first meeting of every month we assign slots for the next month.

In the first round, we would hand out numbers to people who do not have a piece scheduled for the current month, and have about 50% attendance.

If any slots are left, we will open up a second round to anyone else who wants a slot.

News

From The New York Times, via George, an interesting article about the world of music recording which makes an interesting point on the dangers of too much copyright.

As someone who has sent hundreds of emails to agents, I know they make mistakes, because frankly, I rule. I’m also very humble.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

August 19th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That’s the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about.
–Chuck Palahniuk

Victories

Rachel earned a dollar through creative effort.

Tyree wrote, edited, and submitted a piece in one week and it has already been accepted.

News

You know why you can’t get your experimental novel published? You’re not Keith Hernandez.But there is good news, this is all you need to get started towards that goal. In full disclosure, until five minutes ago, I had no idea who Keith Hernandez was, but I picked up through context that he was someone.

Yet another piece on dialog tags.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

August 12th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Somewhere along the way though, Russell had made a conscious decision to turn his back on the law and a life of the status quo. He revealed his homosexuality to his friends and, eventually, his family. He forsook the teachings of his childhood, and embraced a life of crime. It was a life in which he flourished, for the most part. But more than his talents as a thief and a confidence man, it would be the flamboyant, nonviolent brilliance of his jail and prison escapes–usually on Friday the 13th–that would eventually earn the affable, quick-witted, but occasionally vengeful Russell a national reputation in law enforcement and the media. He was known as the King of Con.
–Steve Mcvicker, I Love  You, Phillip Morris

Victories

Nick is finally going to get his story back from his editor–and then the pain will really begin. He also might be interested if anyone has a lead on a good used vehicle–he’s all right, but his truck is gone.

Ciuin went to Philadelphia for an intensive writing class. She visited the Cheeseburger Palace, which looked suspiciously like a Hardee’s.

Tyree snagged a Robert J. Sawyer story for Aoife’s Kiss. Robert J. Sawyer is probably the most important Canadian, after William Shatner and Kiefer Sutherland.

Bill submitted his misheard song lyric flash fiction to “A Fly in Amber.”

News

From IO9, James Marsters tips for supervillains. Marsters has played villains on Buffiy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville,  and Torchwood.

Barnes and Noble has announced it’s open to selling itself, which is a great disappointment to it’s parents.

Google has announced that through advanced mathematics, they have determined there are 130 million books in the world. Google will be scanning them and making them available in enema form by late 2017.

The Rejectionist is hosting a Feminist Science Fiction week for those of you who currently are or are interested in becoming female.

Words of Wisdom

Between victories and the first critique next week, Tyree is going to share some ideas on writing hooks.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

August 5th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Kirk: All is well. And yet I can’t help wondering about the friend I leave behind. “There are always possibilities,” Spock said. And if Genesis is indeed life from death, I must return to this place again
Bones: He’s not really dead, as long as we remember him.
–Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan

George: What were you saying to the Rosses over there, anyway?
Jerry: Oh, I don’t know. I told them her death takes place in the shadow of new life. She’s not really dead if we find a way to remember her.
George: What is that?
Jerry: Star Trek II.
—Seinfeld Episode 135, The Foundation

Victories

Rachel read both stories for this week while riding a horse and didn’t fall off–I might have gotten something mixed around there.

Dave got word that an online publication is going to run “Snake Eyed Sue.” For reasons of national security, he can’t tell us where.

Tony got his piece out on time this week despite a complete re-write at the last minute. I’m still not sure I understood the bit where he gave the pig a bath.

News

According to the “Gender Genie,” I write like a female. That thing has to be broken.

Lifehacker has their 5 favorite book recommendation services. I get me better recommendations from Dylan.

Cnet has an article on ways to self-publish your ebooks. Their tip #1 is: Write a good book. Thanks guys. Thanks for sharing.

Some Fun

A mini-assignment for the next week. Think of your favorite villain from fiction and a one sentence description of why you chose that person.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

July 22th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Man, you’re like school during the summer. No class.
-Rudy, Fat Albert

TURK: You’re like a 24 hour convenience store. You never close.
JD:  That’s like a Fat Albert joke.
—Scrubs

Victories

Dylan’s last commission was not his last commission as he now has a new commission, which is new.

Mark submitted a book proposal to an open call, he has not yet got a chance to submit anything to the group, so he should do well.

Ciuin leaves next Thursday for Philadelphia, the polar opposite of the planet Venus.

Tyree will be as OSFest teaching people how to write and serenading  the dealer room with his rich baritone voice and collection of off-color sea shanties.

After his abduction by the benevolent aliens of Mastadon VI, Tony has decided to wrap several of his short stories into a novel.

News

Agent Andrew Wylie has sold exclusive e-book right to Amazon for a group of authors including Norman Mailer and John Updike. The publishers of their paper books, whose contract were written before e-book were a reality, are calling foul.

In more e-book news, Amazon is now selling more e-books than hardcovers. Wow!

Upcoming Schedule