Monthly Archives: October 2010

The Pumpkin Smashing Noble Pen Newsletter, November 4th, 2010

Noble Pen Meeting

November 4th, 2010
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

The darkest souls are not those which choose to exist within the hell of the abyss, but those which choose to break free from the abyss and move silently among us.

– Dr. Samuel Loomis

Victories

Bob read a few of his stories at Van Buren Elementary. Those poor kids.

Tyree had an epiphany on one of his old stories. I hope in involved Martin Van Buren.

This was probably George’s last meeting, but he showed up anyway. We’ll miss you George Van Buren.

Housekeeping

I am going to schedule new critiques on November 4th, so if you can’t make the meeting, email me with your request.

News

Two days to Nano!

Barnes and Noble is coming out with a full-color, back-lit Nook. The price $250, other details in the article.

Behold! An ancient form rejection letter, and even rarer, a movie studio turning down a script for being unoriginal.

Upcoming Schedule

November 4
(1)Bob
(1)Tony
Educational – Tyree

November 11th
(1)Tyree
(2) Ciuin
(2) Kris

November 18th
(2) Nick
(2) Bob
(2) Dylan

November 25th – Off for Thanksgiving.

December 2nd
(2) Shannon
(2) Dylan
Educational- Nick

December 9th
(2) Tyree
(2) Dave
(2) Tony

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

The Smack Talking Noble Pen Newsletter, October 28th, 2010

Noble Pen Meeting

October 28th, 2010
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I feel the same way about disco as I do about herpes.
–Hunter S. Thompson, 1977

Victories

I submitted a piece to Tyree. He didn’t read it.

Tony submitted Rogue Musician to Asimov’s. He also got an apology from Flash Fiction Online for not getting to his piece before he had withdrawn it.

Tyree’s second Nyx novel is available now. During his last two conventions, he had $1100 in sales for Sam’s Dot. And he was asked to write two pieces of dark fiction for an editor. This is probably why he hasn’t read my submission.

News

IO9 points out what sucks about Heinlein’s 5 rules of writing. Personally, I think Heinlein was talking out of his ass 80% of the time, an assertion which can be backed up by commonalities in his semi-autobiographical characters.

In The Millions, Matt Stewart talks about how to build good author karma.

Pimp My Novel, has an article about publish myths.

Dave sent me a list of some helpful writing websites:
http://www.expert-editor.com/
http://www.fictionfactor.com/
http://absolutewrite.com/

Upcoming Schedule

October 28
Tyree
(1)Shannon
Kris

November 4
(1)Bob
(1)Tony
Educational – Tyree

November 11th
(1)Tyree
(2) Ciuin
(2) Kris

November 18th
(2) Nick
(2) Bob
(2) Dylan

November 25th – Off for Thanksgiving.

December 2nd
(2) Shannon
(2) Dylan
Educational- Nick

December 9th
(2) Tyree
(2) Dave
(2) Tony

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

The Naturally Occurring Noble Pen Newsletter, October 21st, 2010

Noble Pen Meeting

October 21th, 2010
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Ebershoff: Working with Gary [Shteynpgart] has been a singular experience.
Interviewer: Because of his voice and style?
Ebershoff: No, because he demands his advance be pain entirely in smoked meat, pickled tomatoes, and three recently graduated debutantes from Mount Holyoke.
Super Sad True Love Story Book Trailer

Victories

Tony wrote 6000 words in 2 days. I’d suggest he try Nanowritmo, but he probably can’t slow down that much.

George is going to be in a round-table discussion on the new Ubuntu release. Of course with LINUX geeks it has to be a round table so they can all pat each other on the backs for making such a great choice.

News

Borders will also have an ebook self-publish service. Their service still won’t make your book better.

The Plain Writing Act of 2009 was signed into law this week. The new law calls for public documents to use “Writing that is clear, concise, well-organized, and follows other best practices appropriate to the subject or field and intended audience.” I’m anus-peptic, phrasmotic, even compunctious.

Housekeeping

Thank You to George

Hopefully, most of you know that George set up, managed, and paid for our wonderful website. Through his efforts, my job was a lot easier.

Call for a Volunteer

Now that George is going away, I need a more technically savvy penite to take care of the management side of things. The job would entail maintaining the WordPress based site so I can focus on content and being a second (more responsible) person to keep track of passwords and handle hosting issues.

Upcoming Schedule

October 21
Shannon
(1)Nick
(1)Mark

October 28
Tyree
(1)Shannon
(1)Dylan

November 4
(1)Bob
(1)Tony
Educational – Looking for Volunteer

November 11th
(1)Tyree
(2) Ciuin
(2) Kris

November 18th
(2) Nick
(2) Bob
(2) Dylan

November 25th – Off for Thanksgiving.

December 2nd
(2) Shannon
(2) Dylan
Educational- Need Volunteer

December 9th
(2) Tyree
(2) Dave
(2) Tony

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

The Hornswaggling Noble Pen Newsletter, October 14th 2010

Noble Pen Meeting

October 14th, 2010
The Family Restaurant formerly known as Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Those who are regular followers of the doings of Arthur Dent  may have  received  an  impression of his character and habits which, while it includes the truth  and,  of  course,  nothing  but  the truth,  falls  somewhat  short,  in its composition, of the whole truth in all its glorious aspects.

And the reasons for this are  obvious.  Editing,  selection,  the need  to  balance  that  which  is interesting with that which is relevant and cut out all the tedious happenstance.

Like this for instance. “Arthur Dent went to bed. He went up  the stairs, all fifteen of them, opened the door, went into his room, took off his shoes and socks and then all the rest of his clothes one  by one and left them in a neatly crumpled heap on the floor.  He put on his pyjamas, the blue ones with the stripe.  He  washed his  face  and  hands,  cleaned  his teeth, went to the lavatory, realized that he had once again got this all in the wrong  order, had  to wash his hands again and went to bed. He read for fifteen minutes, spending the first ten minutes of that  trying  to  work out  where  in the book he had got to the previous night, then he turned out the light and within a minute or so more was asleep.

“It was dark. He lay on his left side for a good hour…

It’s guff. It doesn’t advance the action. It makes for  nice  fat books  such  as  the  American  market thrives on, but it doesn’t actually get you anywhere. You don’t, in short, want to know.

–Douglas Adams, So Long and Thanks For All the Fish

Editor’s note: Condensed as it is, this quote is a little longer than usual, but it’s a good example of when not to show everything. If you wish to read the whole passage, it is the beginning of Chapter 25.

Victories

Colin joined us.

At 126,000 words, Kris finished her novel on Tuesday at 1:30 in the morning, which is probably one of the better things a person can be doing at that time of day.

Dylan finished the first draft of Flight, but he was voted out of his writing contest and forced to burn his bikini top.

Tony’s story The Tunnels of St. Lucy’s will make an appearance in a Sams Dot publication, but his most recent flash fiction piece was rejected.

Ciuin has gotten a professional referral to two agents. Perhaps soon, people around the world will be crying like a little girl with a skinned knee, as I did as I read the final chapters.

News

I was going to show you How to Become an Writer – The Loser’s Guide, but it hit too close to home.

This is how a writer applies for a job: Hunter S. Thompson’s 1958 cover letter to the Vancouver Sun.

Some guy in South American won the Noble Prize in Literature but OMG THE NEW YORK POST FOUND THE HAND MODEL FROM THE TWILIGHT COVER. I’m speechless.

Housekeeping

Scheduling

Okay, I have completed part of of my plan for scheduling in rounds, and hopefully, the new schedule will make sense and seem fair to everyone. I put a (1) next to the people who asked for slots in round one and a (2) next to people who asked for a slot last night.

I still might have to shift around round 2 a bit, because I have not heard back from Tyree who is out of state.

Upcoming Schedule

October 14th
Tony
Ciuin
Dave

October 21
Shannon
(1)Nick
(1)Mark

October 28
Tyree
(1)Shannon
(1)Dylan

November 4
(1)Bob
(1)Tony
Educational – Looking for Volunteer

November 11th
(1)Tyree
(2) Ciuin
(2) Kris

November 18th
(2) Nick
(2) Bob
(2) Dylan

November 25th – Off for Thanksgiving.

December 2nd
(2) Shannon
(2) Dylan
Educational- Need Volunteer

December 9th
(2) Tyree
(2) Dave
(2) Tony

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon