Noble Pen Meeting

September 30, 2010
The Family Restaurant formerly known as Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Robert: I don’t believe it. It’s Bill.

Mark: Okay, just be cool, don’t stare, you’ll go blind.

Robert: And he’s perusing porno. All right! I gotta go over there and talk to him, man!

Mark: A… wha… wha… no. All over the world, from as far off as the Caspian sea, people have been running up to Bill and acting like idiots. Why must you be one of them?

Robert: Because NOW it’s MY turn! I mean, don’t you want to go over there and talk to him and see what he’s like? I mean William Shatner made us who we are today!

Mark: Do you want to insult the man? Respect his space.

Robert: I do respect his space: it’s the final frontier…

—Free Enterprise

Victories

We were joined by Kris and Kelly(sp?)

Tyree’s fourth novel, Nyx II, will arrive from the printer about fifteen minutes after he leaves for Mississippi.

Tony’s story The Tunnels of St. Lucy’s may be appearing shortly in a Sams Dot publication. Why is it the pieces which don’t get my advice that always do the best?

Tony also withdrew his piece from Flash Fiction Online and sent it to Science Fiction Daily. I believe the process is much like this.

News

Nanowrimo is just over a month away. Cut off your friends now.

In an odd turn of events, Harlan Ellison has announced his death. When questioned on why he was going to die, the author responded, “An old dog senses when it’s his time — dogs have that capacity; nobody doubts that. Nobody. But everybody doubts when you say, ‘I’m dying.’ They think you’re being a Victorian actress. They think you’re doing Bernhardt.”

Housekeeping

Happy Chef is Dead. Long Live the Chef of Indeterminable Emotion.

For those of you who weren’t around last week, we have good and bad news about the Happy Chef. They will shut their doors Tuesday night, but they will re-open Thursday, in time for our next meeting, with as Scott’s. The upshot of this is as long as we are welcome we will not be moving. There is, however, bad news. With the reorganization, some of the staff are being let go, including Loretta, who even made us treats at the last meeting.

Homework

If everyone could bring a pen or pencil (plus one for those who don’t read this) next week, that would be great.

Upcoming Schedule

September 30th
Ian
Dylan
Educational Programming — Shannon

October 7th
Tony
Ciuin
Bob

October 14th
Shannon
Nick
Mark

October 21
Tyree
Tony
Dylan

October 28
Bob
Shannon
Educational – Looking for Volunteer

November 4
Tyree

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 23, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids (for now)

“Why are we drinking Zima? It’s beyond irony. It’s not funny or anything. It’s just gross. Why not just serve us jugs of Hitler’s piss instead?”
“Drinking Zima is something Douglas Coupland would make a character do.”
“To what end?”
“It’d be a device that would allow him to locate the characters in time and a specific sort of culture.”
–Douglas Coupland, jPod

Victories

Julia has signed up for a writing class at Kirkwood and came to check us out.

Tyree’s lesbian werewolf story has been accepted to an anthology, while my were-carp snuff story remains unsold, and I thought it would be like shooting fish in a barrel.

Tony sent a follow-up query to Flash Fiction Online, who are letting his story ripen like a batch of kimchi.

Ciuin has written her last story of City Revealed. I predict this will be their Waterloo, or at least their Cedar Falls.

News

This list of grammar tips helped me realize I was incorrectly using i.e. when I should have been using e.g.

Nathan Bransford gives advice on how to deal with contradictory query advice.

Housekeeping

Scheduling

Taking many of your suggestions on scheduling into consideration, I kludged together a tweak of our old system. Here’s how it works.

When we get within a month of having an empty slot, I ask who wants a slot and record the names of everyone who wants one along with date constraints (e.g. I can’t make it the 28th.) These names constitute a “round” of critiques. I try to fit them in in a sensible order. When we run within a month of empty slots again, I will start a new round.

New scheduled critiques (the first round) are indicated below by an asterisk(*). Hopefully, I got everything right, but if not, we can reshuffle.

* I managed to spell asterisk correctly–first try!

Upcoming Schedule

September 23rd
Dylan
Bob
Dave

September 30th
Ian
Dylan
Educational Programming — Shannon

October 7th
Tony
Ciuin
Bob

October 14th
Shannon
*Nick
*Mark

October 21
Tyree
*Tony
*Dylan

October 28
*Bob
*Shannon
Educational – Looking for Volunteer

November 4
*Tyree

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 16th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

You’re going to listen to *me*? To something that *I* said? Hell, most of the time I’m just talking out of my ass… or sticking my hand in it.
-Brody Bruce, Mallrats

Victories

I submitted Fangs for Nothing to the ICON Writers’ Workshop. They already accepted it, because they will take literally anything which comes in first. Well, okay, not literally anything. I don’t think they would have accepted naked pictures of Hugh Hefner.

Ciuin told stories at the New Bohemia Festival, including original stories. She got positive feedback from the audience, which we can reasonably assume were not recently release from a psychiatric institution.

The magazine which accepted Nick’s photograph came out, and as a special bonus, they printed his picture in invisible ink and didn’t tell him which page it was on.

News

A political science professor writes an article about academic writing which still has some interesting point

NPR says books are sold through word of mouth. Originally, I read that as word of moth, which sounds intriguing, but would probably not be too effective.

Upcoming Schedule

September 16th
Tony
Nick
Mark

September 23rd
Dylan
Bob
Dave

September 30th
Ian
Dylan
Educational Programming — Shannon

October 7th
Tony
Ciuin
Bob

October 14th
Shannon
Tyree
Open slot

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 9nd, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Drop your weapons. You’re surrounded by armed bastards.
–Gene Hunt, Life on Mars

He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
–Douglas Adam, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

These T-shirts were tested on animals. They didn’t fit.
—Merchandise from BBC’s Top Gear

Victories

Nick had two rejections from the same magazine. The second one was just a crude drawing of an Italian hand gesture.

Ciuin started a blog and is writing or pasting in something new every day. Looks like she’s already behind. Taunt her.

Tyree lent a book to Ciuin who has not returned it yet–if she did, the door would keep blowing closed.

News

Sir Terry Pratchett talks about dealing with death while writing fantasy.

Editor and writing coach Daphne Gray-Grant writes about the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Writers.

Upcoming Schedule

September 9th
Tyree
Dylan
Shannon

September 16th
Tony
Nick
Mark

September 23rd
Dylan
Bob
Dave

September 30th
Ian
Dylan
Educational Programming — Shannon

October 7th
Tony
Ciuin
Bob

October 14th
Shannon
Tyree
Open slot

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon