Noble Pen Meeting

October 22nd, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I am a kleptomaniac. I will steal your lamps, mattress, clock radio, even the ice machine from the hallway vending area. I want to tell you about this before I check in so that when you see the room completely empty after I leave you will understand.
– Ted L. Nancy

The show basically revolved around this one officer. “Mad” Dick Robinson. People called him Mad because he was basically insane. I can’t remember if he was actually clinically insane, but people were always questioning his decisions. Mad often blew his top and chewed out some of the other officers, most of whom had unquestionable moral character.But we all know it’s a tough world, the stakes are high out there, and everyone who watched the show held Mad in great regard. I think everyone on the squad grew quite a bitas people, thanks to Mad’s passion.
– Why’s (Poignant) Guide to Ruby

Victories

I emailed the two literary agents who asked for my manuscript and never got back to me. They have still not gotten back to me. I’m sensing a trend.

Ian filled his Hybrid with Wal-Mart gas and his getting 3 MPG less, although he admits it might have been because the gas was a winter mix, which is, of course, standard unleaded gasoline mixed with reindeer blood.

Wendy passed her Russian mid-term & Language in Society midterm. She is working on a 12 page paper. She finished her City Revealed articles during midterms and she finished her Usher’s Scary program. Plus it was her twentieth wedding anniversary this week. She will align the planets and bring them into universal harmony, allowing meaningful contact with all forms of life from extra terrestrials to common household pets.

News

Nanowrimo is only two weeks away. Mark your calendar if you have trouble finding November 1st.

Gizmodo has photos of what it believes to be the new Barnes and Noble ebook reader.

J. A. Konrath goes through six months earnings. Yes, someday, as a professional author, you may make as much as $16,000 a year.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, October 22nd. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter Seven–go to http://shannonryan.net/user and enter username:noblepen and password:nblpn or ask me for a copy. It should be up by Saturday night, Sunday at the latest.

Ciuin – Petty Theft chapter

Thursday, October 22nd. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Open

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

October 15th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God’s adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
– Mark Twain

Victories

I wrote a sixty-seven word sentence yesterday. My goal is 140.

There are no other victories, so I included this very inappropriate video from The Onion.

News

You can now buy a Kindle in every country on Earth except Canada. Suck it, Nova Scotia.

Google founder Sergey Brin wrote a New York Times Op-Ed on Google Books.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, October 15th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter five and six–go to http://shannonryan.net/user and enter username:noblepen and password:nblpn or ask me for a copy. It should be up by Saturday night, Sunday at the latest.

New chapter of A Convenient Truth, by Ian

Thursday, October 15th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Looking for takers.

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

October 8th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

The electronic I Ching calculator was badly made. It had probably been manufactured in whichever of the South-East Asian countries was busy tooling up to do to South Korea what South Korea was busy doing to Japan.
-Douglas Adams

Laughter is the only thing that cuts trouble down to a size where you can talk to it.”
– Dan Jenkins

Victories

I am writing again. This might not end well.

Adam has been revising, when not tribute dancing in Stockholm.

Ciuin has managed to get some writing done in addition to all her writing work. Her first Assembly of Roma article is going to be on the Internet soon. She is writing a script for Usher’s Scary.

News

Usually, I just rip off everything in my “News” section from Nathan Bransford’s “This Week in Publishing.” The week, I made the effort to find everything myself, but after checking, Nathan had them anyway. Next week, I will return to the old method.

Remember the guy suing Amazon because his 1984 ebook was deleted. Amazon has settled out of court for $150,000, or $20,000 in 1984 dollars.

The success of Dan Brown’s ebook sales have been greatly exaggerated.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, October 8th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

George

Ciuin – Petty Theft

Thursday, October 15th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Ciuin

Adam???

Thursday, October 22nd. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique–Wow October already?

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter five and six–go to http://shannonryan.net/user and enter username:noblepen and password:nblpn or ask me for a copy.

Empty slot

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

October 1st, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.
-Jalal ad-Din Rumi

In the future, everything will be easy, except IKEA
-Ivan Raszl

Victories

Julie Query and Shinkai Hakimi attended the meeting and asked to be added to the list. Julie’s email address threw me off a little, as it is also the name of my favorite javascript library.

Cuiun did rewrites of Petty Theft and finished another chapter of Quint’s Adventures. She was also happy not to be the only girl. Now, for some reason, I want a mirror-ball codpiece.

Nick sent me dispatches from Needles, CA and San Bernardino this week. He photographed 14 trains in San Bernardino, which to him is not a large number of trains to photograph, but to me seems a huge number of trains to photograph.

News

Best Buy is going to start selling ebook readers. My guess is that Best Buy enthusiasts will consider an ebook about as attractive as a fart in an elevator. Then again, even I go there occasionally. (Yes, that last sentence was purposefully ambiguous.)

Rachel Gardner has written a blog post on the importance of a proactive main character.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, October 1st. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique–Wow October already?

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter three and four–go to http://shannonryan.net/user and enter username:noblepen and password:nblpn or ask me for a copy. They should be up Saturday Night.

Adam – Legend of Ardloc 3

Thursday, October 8th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

George

Ciuin

Thursday, October 15th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

This space can be yours.

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 24th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
–Mark Twain
Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.
— John Hodgman

Victories

Someone broke into George’s car. He hunted them down like dogs. High cigarette taxes are ultimately to blame.

Adam has two apartments, he will soon become a London cab driver whose wives don’t know about each other.

Adam also got to visit the morgue. Fortunately, he made it back out.

Wendy was paid promptly for her writing, because promises won’t buy mashed potatoes, no gravy.

News

Bad – a man who has not made a fortune off his books criticizes Dan Brown for his writing, Worse – the article is written by a known poet.

Sometime shortly after I sent out last weeks email, September 31st disappeared. I blame Faction Paradox, or more specifically their agent on earth, Lars Pearson.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Sept 24th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Ciuin–Quint 3, I think. I’m verry confused at this point.

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter One and Two (one more try)–go to http://shannonryan.net/user and enter username:noblepen and password:nblpn or ask me for a copy

Thursday, October 1st. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Adam – Legend of Ardloc 3

George

Thursday, October 8th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Clear

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 17th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

“When your mama was the geek, my dreamlets,” Papa would say, “she made the nipping off of noggins such a crystal mystery that the hens themselves yearned toward her, waltzing around her, hypnotized with longing.”
–Katherine Dunn, Geek Love

Mr. Heller is a first-rate humorist who cripples his own jokes intentionally–with the unhappiness of the characters who perceive them. He also insists on dealing with only the most hackneyed themes. After a thousand World War II airplane novels had been published and pulped, he gave us yet another one, which was gradually acknowledged as a sanely crazy masterpiece.
–Kurt Vonnegut Jr on Joseph Heller

Victories

I delivered my beta reader copy to the legion of self-lothing masochists who enjoy my books.

Wendy made her first submission to the Assembly of Roma and will soon be considered a criminal in Italy.

Wendy has written two pages of Russian longhand. This will be of no help after the ninjas take over.

News

Don’t worry. If you have recently stolen a Kindle, Amazon has you covered.

If  you gave a copy of Ted Kennedy’s memoir to the New York Times, the publisher would like to have a word with you. Come on guys, it’s not like it’s a new Harry Potter.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Sept 17th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

George

Adam – more Legend of Ardloc

Thursday, Sept 24th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Ciuin–Maybe actually Quint 2 this time?

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter One and Two (one more try)–go to http://shannonryan.net/user and enter username:noblepen and password:nblpn or ask me for a copy

Thursday, Sept 31st. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Clear

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 10th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

“You see,” I explained to Joshua, “what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that’s not her intent. That’s the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.”
“No kidding?” said Josh.
“Why do I waste my time with you?””
— Christopher Moore Lamb

This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional gramar, split infinitives, and the odd wank.”
— Christopher Moore Fool: A Novel

Editor’s Note

Sadly, due to complications, Scott will not be able to join us until the new year.

Victories

Nick has officially retired from the USPS. Congratulations Nick. He is going to go on vacation for awhile, but he will rejoin us in the new year.

George is another year older, and now owns his car. Let’s celebrate with 90’s techno.

Ciuin is not failing Russian, and she was interviewed in the Daily Iowan about her Russian class. But can any of us really understand the noble Russian culture?

News

Fiction can cause fights.

Amazon is suing Google over Google Books. The Author’s Guild has an official statement that reads like a rant.

CBS is making a comedy about how book publishers trash our hopes and dreams. Ha ha, very funny CBS, you jerks.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Sept 10th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Quint #2 by Ciuin

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter One and Two –go to http://shannonryan.net/user and enter username:noblepen and password:nblpn or ask me for a copy

Thursday, Sept 17th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

George

Adam – more Legend of Ardloc

Thursday, Sept 24th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Ciuin

Hard Luck 3&4 by Shannon

Thursday, Sept 31st. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Clear

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 3rd, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

In 1969, Steps, a novel by Jerzy Kosinski, won the National Book Award. Six years later, a freelance writer named Chuck Ross, to test the old theory that a novel by an unknown writer doesn’t have a chance, typed the first twenty-one pages of Steps and sent them out to four publishers as the work of “Erik Demos.” All four rejected the manuscript. Two years after that, he typed out the whole book and sent it, again credited to Erik Demos, to more publishers, including the original publisher of the Kosinski book, Random House. Again, all rejected it with unhelpful comments—Random House used a form letter. Altogether, fourteen publishers (and thirteen literary agents) failed to recognize a book that had already been published and had won an important prize.
–From Rotten Reviews

A Quick Note

In my previous missive, due to some confusion on my part, I had Ciuin listed for this week, it is actually George’s piece Chances Are.

Also note, there are some open slots in the upcoming weeks.

Victories

We got to meet in the main dining room. The Happy Chef staff claimed our usual room was flooded, but I think I know what really happened back there.

Ciuin and Adam are both surviving school.

Ciuin can now read three syllable Russian words. (link contains slight nudity)

Welcome back Paul Zastrow

News

Catherine Schaff-Stump (friend to the group) has a link in her blog this week to an essay on balance. I’m hoping to learn a lot from this essay if I can find time to read it.

Fast Company has an article on how electronic publishing might save 125 million trees a year. This reminds me of the opening of the Lou Grant Show.

Sony released new e-readers this week, including the new pocket size. Isn’t it cute.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Sept 3rd. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Chances Are by George–retrieve from his website or email him for a copy

Something by Adam–email him for a copy

Thursday, Sept 10th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Quint #2 by Ciuin

Free slot

Thursday, Sept 17th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter One and Two

Open Slot

Thursday, Sept 24th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Free and clear as of this point. Reserve your space now.

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

August 27th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-T.S. Eliot

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.
-Mae West

Victories

I finally broke down and joined facebook. This guy is my new friend.

Ciuin made a new friend too. I gather it was something like this.

News

Dan Brown’s Lost Symbol will come out on Kindle the same day the hardcover is released and the electronic copy will be $6.18 cheaper. 1.34 seconds after they first Kindle copy ships, it will be available for free download, but unlike the $9.99 Kindle version, you will be able to read it on anything and share it with your friends.

Forbes advances the theory that the Blackberry device is a present-day version of the Star Trek communicator. Now I want one of those axe things from Amok Time, which actually become central to one of my books that none of you have read.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Aug 27th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Petty Theft 6 by Ciuin

Ian – Some more Convenient Truth

Thursday, Sept 3rd. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

End of the Gypsy Trail  by Ciuin

Something by Adam

Thursday, Sept 10th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Quint #2 by Ciuin

Free slot

Thursday, Sept 17th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter One and Two

Open Slot

Thursday, Sept 24th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Free and clear as of this point. Reserve your space now.

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

August 20th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I believe the first draft of a book — even a long one — should take no more than three months…Any longer and — for me, at least — the story begins to take on an odd foreign feel, like a dispatch from the Romanian Department of Public Affairs, or something broadcast on high-band shortwave duiring a period of severe sunspot activity.
–Stephen King

Recap

We didn’t do victories this week. I gave Catherine the floor and she ran with it. Here is a link to her handouts in case you lose them or weren’t there. Catherine will also be a guest at this year’s ICON, something to check out if you do the Science Fiction thing.

Our newest member Adam Young won the writing contest. I didn’t bother to do the vote thing because by the time Catherine left, we had three contenders and one other member–and I was feeling sleepy, but the group consensus was pretty sound. Congratulations Adam.

News

During our discussion with Catherine, we discussed writing retreats. The Intern recently attended one and has an opinion
Part I
Part II

There are many publishing glossaries out there and this is one of them.

I may have mentioned this before, but Dropbox is how I backup my writing. And yes, George, it runs on Linux too.

For the perverted Asian fetishists in our group, Anime Iowa is going on right now in Iowa City.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Aug 20th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique – Ian will be officiating. I’m taking the night off.

Exodus Chapter 9, Nick passed out copies.

George- Chances Are. Email him for a copy.

Thursday, Aug 27th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Something by Ciuin

Ian – Some more Convenient Truth

Thursday, Sept 3rd. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Something by Ciuin

Something by Adam

Thursday, Sept 10th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Something by Ciuin

Possibly Scott depending on recovery. Or possible open

Thursday, Sept 10th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Hard Luck by Shannon, Prologue and Chapter One, if I have it written by then.

Open Slot

Keep Writing

Shannon