Noble Pen Meeting

August 19th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That’s the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about.
–Chuck Palahniuk

Victories

Rachel earned a dollar through creative effort.

Tyree wrote, edited, and submitted a piece in one week and it has already been accepted.

News

You know why you can’t get your experimental novel published? You’re not Keith Hernandez.But there is good news, this is all you need to get started towards that goal. In full disclosure, until five minutes ago, I had no idea who Keith Hernandez was, but I picked up through context that he was someone.

Yet another piece on dialog tags.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

August 12th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Somewhere along the way though, Russell had made a conscious decision to turn his back on the law and a life of the status quo. He revealed his homosexuality to his friends and, eventually, his family. He forsook the teachings of his childhood, and embraced a life of crime. It was a life in which he flourished, for the most part. But more than his talents as a thief and a confidence man, it would be the flamboyant, nonviolent brilliance of his jail and prison escapes–usually on Friday the 13th–that would eventually earn the affable, quick-witted, but occasionally vengeful Russell a national reputation in law enforcement and the media. He was known as the King of Con.
–Steve Mcvicker, I Love  You, Phillip Morris

Victories

Nick is finally going to get his story back from his editor–and then the pain will really begin. He also might be interested if anyone has a lead on a good used vehicle–he’s all right, but his truck is gone.

Ciuin went to Philadelphia for an intensive writing class. She visited the Cheeseburger Palace, which looked suspiciously like a Hardee’s.

Tyree snagged a Robert J. Sawyer story for Aoife’s Kiss. Robert J. Sawyer is probably the most important Canadian, after William Shatner and Kiefer Sutherland.

Bill submitted his misheard song lyric flash fiction to “A Fly in Amber.”

News

From IO9, James Marsters tips for supervillains. Marsters has played villains on Buffiy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville,  and Torchwood.

Barnes and Noble has announced it’s open to selling itself, which is a great disappointment to it’s parents.

Google has announced that through advanced mathematics, they have determined there are 130 million books in the world. Google will be scanning them and making them available in enema form by late 2017.

The Rejectionist is hosting a Feminist Science Fiction week for those of you who currently are or are interested in becoming female.

Words of Wisdom

Between victories and the first critique next week, Tyree is going to share some ideas on writing hooks.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

August 5th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Kirk: All is well. And yet I can’t help wondering about the friend I leave behind. “There are always possibilities,” Spock said. And if Genesis is indeed life from death, I must return to this place again
Bones: He’s not really dead, as long as we remember him.
–Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan

George: What were you saying to the Rosses over there, anyway?
Jerry: Oh, I don’t know. I told them her death takes place in the shadow of new life. She’s not really dead if we find a way to remember her.
George: What is that?
Jerry: Star Trek II.
—Seinfeld Episode 135, The Foundation

Victories

Rachel read both stories for this week while riding a horse and didn’t fall off–I might have gotten something mixed around there.

Dave got word that an online publication is going to run “Snake Eyed Sue.” For reasons of national security, he can’t tell us where.

Tony got his piece out on time this week despite a complete re-write at the last minute. I’m still not sure I understood the bit where he gave the pig a bath.

News

According to the “Gender Genie,” I write like a female. That thing has to be broken.

Lifehacker has their 5 favorite book recommendation services. I get me better recommendations from Dylan.

Cnet has an article on ways to self-publish your ebooks. Their tip #1 is: Write a good book. Thanks guys. Thanks for sharing.

Some Fun

A mini-assignment for the next week. Think of your favorite villain from fiction and a one sentence description of why you chose that person.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

July 22th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Man, you’re like school during the summer. No class.
-Rudy, Fat Albert

TURK: You’re like a 24 hour convenience store. You never close.
JD:  That’s like a Fat Albert joke.
—Scrubs

Victories

Dylan’s last commission was not his last commission as he now has a new commission, which is new.

Mark submitted a book proposal to an open call, he has not yet got a chance to submit anything to the group, so he should do well.

Ciuin leaves next Thursday for Philadelphia, the polar opposite of the planet Venus.

Tyree will be as OSFest teaching people how to write and serenading  the dealer room with his rich baritone voice and collection of off-color sea shanties.

After his abduction by the benevolent aliens of Mastadon VI, Tony has decided to wrap several of his short stories into a novel.

News

Agent Andrew Wylie has sold exclusive e-book right to Amazon for a group of authors including Norman Mailer and John Updike. The publishers of their paper books, whose contract were written before e-book were a reality, are calling foul.

In more e-book news, Amazon is now selling more e-books than hardcovers. Wow!

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

July 22th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Super automatic pilot motor running down circles in the parking lot
Self-sustaining system bit her in the neck and quick and kissed her and took all she got
Did you come here to dance?
Whats in your glass?
Do you feel better?
–OK GO, Let it Rain

Victories

Dylan’s commission was accepted without edits. His patron is probably going all Karate Kid right now–that’s and old school Karate Kid joke, you know: Wax on…

George wrote an ad which has run on three podcasts and it scheduled for one more. I imagine it something like this.

Tyree used email to reply to everyone on the list and was shocked to find out just how many of you are lurking out there.

News

This tool has book going around the internet: Find out who you write like.

For all you non-fiction guys, here’s how you write a book proposal.

I’ve always wondered about this.  A YA writer talks about how to keep up with the kids.

Carl East from Hull topped Apples’s iBookstore charts with his novel “Incest Urges of a Nymphomaniac.” Coming up next on Sick Sad World.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

July 15th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about.
–Oscar Wilde

Victories

Tyree’s fantasy story Acorns is being considered by the Darrell Award jury. It is not known at this time what they consider it.

Tyree will be putting out a magazine of Cosmic Crime Stories, sci-fi pulp detective stories. Remember there are 2^22.931 stories in the naked city.

Dave’s picture of the Abbey Creek school will go on the cover of a pamphlet about Mt. Vernon. Sadly, they aren’t letting him do any words.

I got a piece on the Six Sentences blog. Just a thousand more good sentences, and I ‘ll have a novel.

Dylan finished his last commission piece, but he has lost his best customer to matrimony–the customer’s that is, Dylan’s already married.

Tony has figured out what the short story he is writing is about. Hopefully, it’s something awesome.

News

A new study shows that kids who have books to read over summer vacation do better in school. Well, duh.

Once again, IO9 has a great gallery of pulp covers.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

July 8th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I wanna be a cowboy baby
Ridin’ at night ’cause I sleep all day
Cowboy baby
I can smell a pig from a mile away
–Kid Rock, Cowboy

It never takes longer than a few minutes, when they get together, for everyone to revert to the state of nature, like a party marooned by a shipwreck. That’s what a family is. Also the storm at sea, the ship, and the unknown shore. And the hats and the whiskey stills that you make out of bamboo and coconuts. And the fire that you light to keep away the beasts.
–Michael Chabon, The Yiddish Policeman’s Union

Victories

Ciuin is go for her intensive class in Philadelphia. Something, something, cheese steak, Rocky V.

George’s podcast is going well, he’s getting good feedback from the artists whose music he’s playing in his podcasts, and it has been 12 days since his last OSHA reportable accident.

Rachel schooled me in the fact that not all women dig Doctor Who for the beefcake.

News

Gregory Levey tells us how having 700,000 Facebook fans can be a bad thing.

More advice from editors. This time it’s Cat Rambo of Fantasy Magazine. Cat Rambo, I wonder if that’s an assumed name.

Here is an article about idea generation which talks about the rule of 20, the idea that you have to have 20 ideas before you have an original one. Personally, I’ve never had 20 ideas.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

July 1st, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

— Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe, and Everything

Victories

Lisa joined us. Yea Lisa.

Ciuin has been invited back to Philadelphia for a private seminar with one of the teachers from the Philadelphia writer’s conference. She even found  a sponsor to send her. Her accomplishments a frankly becoming a little annoying, because I can never remember how to spell Philadelphia, but then I remember the name mean “brotherly love,” and I think about the deep history and the Liberty Bell selling crack, and it seems all right.

Tony continues to  re-write, overcoming the paralyzing fear which comes with the possibility of actually making the story worse, with the curling up in the fetal position and crying the eyes out–or is that just me?

Tyree is negotiating a slipstream magazine for Sam’s Dot with the editors of Afterburn SF. I look forward forward to being rejected by them.

News

Amazon and Barnes and Noble are in an e-reader price war.

Agent Nathan Bransord shares how often his name is misspelled in query letters.

Kristen at Pub Rants as an interesting piece explaining single book vs. multi-book deals. I will add it to the list of problems I wish I had.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

June 24th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

The future is quite different to the present
The one thing we have in common with the present is we still call it the present, even though it’s the future
What you call the present we call the past, so you guys are way behind
— Flight of the Conchords, The Humans Are Dead

Victories

Nick submitted some train slides. I forgot to ask him where, but I bet the periodical either has “Train” or “Trains” in the title.

Ciuin did an agent pitch on Friday and got asked for a full. The agent is thinking about pitching a series for her.  Ciuin steps up to the plate. The agent pitches high and outside, Ciuin hits a grounder between second and third. Ciuin takes first base!

Bob is ready to put is children’s book to the group. Hopefully it won’t be over our heads.

Tyree submitted a piece to Electric Velocipede, which is far superior to those old manual velocipedes.

Tony got a brainstorm and submitted a short story to Flash Fiction Online. I’m trying to come up with a quip about brainstorms, but I’m not having a… serendipitous creative moment.

Bob’s got a new granddaughter. Hopefully it’s his.

After a long and arduous trip, George is Red Hat certified. Personally, I prefer black.

Housekeeping

We have a slightly different scheme for distribution. After I send out this email, the authors up for critique will reply all when their piece is ready. They can choose to include the entire piece or request that people email them for a copy.

We had 11 people last week, and I thought everyone really stayed on task, which makes things easier for me. Great job!

Because the schedule is filling up for the next month, I wanted to remind everyone that you don’t have ask for slots on Thursday Night. You can just send me an email and request to be added to the list.

News

Romance author Candace Havens talks about sex. I’m told it’s a popular subject.

Lynne Veihl has some links to free stuff. I hear people like that too.

Apparently children’s dystopian literature is big these days. I was happy with Bunnicula.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

June 17th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Which isn’t, like, as bad as it sounds, because the general public kind of sucks ass.

–Christopher Moore, Bite Me

Victories

We were joined for the first time by Mark, Tony, Rachel, and Tyree. And I think I managed not to scare/offend any of them.

Dylan finished his last commission and received another one. I am beginning to believe he doesn’t sleep. Could he be a vampire? I’ve never seen him sparkle.

Tony finished a short story this week and it preparing it for submission. I don’t know enough about Tony or his writing at this point to come up with an original joke, so here’s a video of a man shooting bananas out of his nose.

News

Lynne Viehl talks about luck and how getting a NYT bestseller can be hard even for an already-listed author. She also has promised to show the mass-market ratings list next week.

Candace Havens has a post on Genreality about common mistakes made by beginning writers. One of the items is being able to take criticism, so at least we have that going for us (most days.)

Upcoming Schedule