Noble Pen Meeting

September 17th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

“When your mama was the geek, my dreamlets,” Papa would say, “she made the nipping off of noggins such a crystal mystery that the hens themselves yearned toward her, waltzing around her, hypnotized with longing.”
–Katherine Dunn, Geek Love

Mr. Heller is a first-rate humorist who cripples his own jokes intentionally–with the unhappiness of the characters who perceive them. He also insists on dealing with only the most hackneyed themes. After a thousand World War II airplane novels had been published and pulped, he gave us yet another one, which was gradually acknowledged as a sanely crazy masterpiece.
–Kurt Vonnegut Jr on Joseph Heller

Victories

I delivered my beta reader copy to the legion of self-lothing masochists who enjoy my books.

Wendy made her first submission to the Assembly of Roma and will soon be considered a criminal in Italy.

Wendy has written two pages of Russian longhand. This will be of no help after the ninjas take over.

News

Don’t worry. If you have recently stolen a Kindle, Amazon has you covered.

If  you gave a copy of Ted Kennedy’s memoir to the New York Times, the publisher would like to have a word with you. Come on guys, it’s not like it’s a new Harry Potter.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Sept 17th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

George

Adam – more Legend of Ardloc

Thursday, Sept 24th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Ciuin–Maybe actually Quint 2 this time?

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter One and Two (one more try)–go to http://shannonryan.net/user and enter username:noblepen and password:nblpn or ask me for a copy

Thursday, Sept 31st. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Clear

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 10th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

“You see,” I explained to Joshua, “what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that’s not her intent. That’s the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.”
“No kidding?” said Josh.
“Why do I waste my time with you?””
— Christopher Moore Lamb

This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional gramar, split infinitives, and the odd wank.”
— Christopher Moore Fool: A Novel

Editor’s Note

Sadly, due to complications, Scott will not be able to join us until the new year.

Victories

Nick has officially retired from the USPS. Congratulations Nick. He is going to go on vacation for awhile, but he will rejoin us in the new year.

George is another year older, and now owns his car. Let’s celebrate with 90’s techno.

Ciuin is not failing Russian, and she was interviewed in the Daily Iowan about her Russian class. But can any of us really understand the noble Russian culture?

News

Fiction can cause fights.

Amazon is suing Google over Google Books. The Author’s Guild has an official statement that reads like a rant.

CBS is making a comedy about how book publishers trash our hopes and dreams. Ha ha, very funny CBS, you jerks.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Sept 10th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Quint #2 by Ciuin

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter One and Two –go to http://shannonryan.net/user and enter username:noblepen and password:nblpn or ask me for a copy

Thursday, Sept 17th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

George

Adam – more Legend of Ardloc

Thursday, Sept 24th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Ciuin

Hard Luck 3&4 by Shannon

Thursday, Sept 31st. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Clear

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 3rd, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

In 1969, Steps, a novel by Jerzy Kosinski, won the National Book Award. Six years later, a freelance writer named Chuck Ross, to test the old theory that a novel by an unknown writer doesn’t have a chance, typed the first twenty-one pages of Steps and sent them out to four publishers as the work of “Erik Demos.” All four rejected the manuscript. Two years after that, he typed out the whole book and sent it, again credited to Erik Demos, to more publishers, including the original publisher of the Kosinski book, Random House. Again, all rejected it with unhelpful comments—Random House used a form letter. Altogether, fourteen publishers (and thirteen literary agents) failed to recognize a book that had already been published and had won an important prize.
–From Rotten Reviews

A Quick Note

In my previous missive, due to some confusion on my part, I had Ciuin listed for this week, it is actually George’s piece Chances Are.

Also note, there are some open slots in the upcoming weeks.

Victories

We got to meet in the main dining room. The Happy Chef staff claimed our usual room was flooded, but I think I know what really happened back there.

Ciuin and Adam are both surviving school.

Ciuin can now read three syllable Russian words. (link contains slight nudity)

Welcome back Paul Zastrow

News

Catherine Schaff-Stump (friend to the group) has a link in her blog this week to an essay on balance. I’m hoping to learn a lot from this essay if I can find time to read it.

Fast Company has an article on how electronic publishing might save 125 million trees a year. This reminds me of the opening of the Lou Grant Show.

Sony released new e-readers this week, including the new pocket size. Isn’t it cute.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Sept 3rd. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Chances Are by George–retrieve from his website or email him for a copy

Something by Adam–email him for a copy

Thursday, Sept 10th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Quint #2 by Ciuin

Free slot

Thursday, Sept 17th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter One and Two

Open Slot

Thursday, Sept 24th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Free and clear as of this point. Reserve your space now.

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

August 27th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-T.S. Eliot

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.
-Mae West

Victories

I finally broke down and joined facebook. This guy is my new friend.

Ciuin made a new friend too. I gather it was something like this.

News

Dan Brown’s Lost Symbol will come out on Kindle the same day the hardcover is released and the electronic copy will be $6.18 cheaper. 1.34 seconds after they first Kindle copy ships, it will be available for free download, but unlike the $9.99 Kindle version, you will be able to read it on anything and share it with your friends.

Forbes advances the theory that the Blackberry device is a present-day version of the Star Trek communicator. Now I want one of those axe things from Amok Time, which actually become central to one of my books that none of you have read.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Aug 27th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Petty Theft 6 by Ciuin

Ian – Some more Convenient Truth

Thursday, Sept 3rd. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

End of the Gypsy Trail  by Ciuin

Something by Adam

Thursday, Sept 10th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Quint #2 by Ciuin

Free slot

Thursday, Sept 17th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Hard Luck by Shannon, Chapter One and Two

Open Slot

Thursday, Sept 24th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Free and clear as of this point. Reserve your space now.

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

August 20th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I believe the first draft of a book — even a long one — should take no more than three months…Any longer and — for me, at least — the story begins to take on an odd foreign feel, like a dispatch from the Romanian Department of Public Affairs, or something broadcast on high-band shortwave duiring a period of severe sunspot activity.
–Stephen King

Recap

We didn’t do victories this week. I gave Catherine the floor and she ran with it. Here is a link to her handouts in case you lose them or weren’t there. Catherine will also be a guest at this year’s ICON, something to check out if you do the Science Fiction thing.

Our newest member Adam Young won the writing contest. I didn’t bother to do the vote thing because by the time Catherine left, we had three contenders and one other member–and I was feeling sleepy, but the group consensus was pretty sound. Congratulations Adam.

News

During our discussion with Catherine, we discussed writing retreats. The Intern recently attended one and has an opinion
Part I
Part II

There are many publishing glossaries out there and this is one of them.

I may have mentioned this before, but Dropbox is how I backup my writing. And yes, George, it runs on Linux too.

For the perverted Asian fetishists in our group, Anime Iowa is going on right now in Iowa City.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Aug 20th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique – Ian will be officiating. I’m taking the night off.

Exodus Chapter 9, Nick passed out copies.

George- Chances Are. Email him for a copy.

Thursday, Aug 27th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Something by Ciuin

Ian – Some more Convenient Truth

Thursday, Sept 3rd. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Something by Ciuin

Something by Adam

Thursday, Sept 10th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Something by Ciuin

Possibly Scott depending on recovery. Or possible open

Thursday, Sept 10th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Hard Luck by Shannon, Prologue and Chapter One, if I have it written by then.

Open Slot

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

August 13th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Do you know like we were saying, about the earth revolving? It’s like when you’re a kid, the first time they tell you that the world’s turning, and you just can’t quite believe it cuz everything looks like it’s standing still. I can feel it. The turn of the earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling around the sun at 67000 miles an hour. And I can feel it. We’re falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go… That’s who I am. Now, forget me, Rose Tyler. Go home.
–Doctor Who

Victories

I am done with editing my chapter fifteen. Of those, 3 might not suck, and I still have 10 to go.

Adam is a low talker for Happy Chef, but if I understood him right, he wrote 100 pages last week, and has not yet slept.

One of Ciuin’s articles made the cover and center spread of City Revealed this month, the article wasn’t even about the editor’s children, and she’s already been paid.

News

Nathan Bransford’s blog has a good guest article on giving and receiving a good critique.

The Intern has a 5 tips on using numbers in your title.

Lettie Prell, my coworker and author of Dragon Ring, asked me to spread the word that she will be doing many events at ICON this year.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Aug 13th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Events

I planned awesome stuff, so show up.

We are having a writing contest as detailed below. Right now, I have only two entries, but I will be accepting submissions until Sunday noon–when will I unleash the hurga.

We will be joined by Catherine Schaff-Stump of the Kirkwood English Department. Catherine is in the process of getting a young adult novel published by a small press. She is going to share some of her experiences with us. Her bio is further down the page.

Thursday, Aug 20th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Exodus Chapter 9, Nick passed out copies.

George- Chances Are. Email him for a copy.

Thursday, Aug 27th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Something by Ciuin

Ian – Some more Convenient Truth

Thursday, Sept 3rd. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Something by Ciuin

Something by Adam

Thursday, Sept 10th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Something by Ciuin

Possibly Scott depending on recovery.

Writing Contest

Submissions due: Sunday noon.

Write a piece of flash fiction based on one of the following prompts–provided by Bill.

1. A visit to the dentist. Write about your protagonist’s reactions, or what he/she saw and heard from the other patients.
2. What does a dollar bill hear in a day’s travel
3. A fortune cookie comes true in an ironic way
4. The piano tuner. Use either his/her POV or a client’s.
5. Cat’s eye view – what does your pet see/think?
6. Junk drawer. Everybody has a place they put stuff that has no other place to belong. Write a story that uses several items from the junk drawer.

The winner will receive one of my writing books, or pie.

Catherine Schaff-Stump

By day, Catherine Schaff-Stump is an English teacher at a community college.  In the evening and on the weekends, not only does Catherine fight crime, but she also writes fiction of the fantastic.  Her first novel, Hulk Hercules, Professional Wrestler, is due out in January, 2010.  You can find out more about her and her escapades on her website, http://cathschaffstump.com

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

August 6th, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read
–Mark Twain

If you’re going to tell a story through one character’s viewpoint, the first thing to do is take a step back and ask yourself which characters can offer the most compelling perspective.
–Noah Lukeman

Victories

Adam, a perspective member, dropped by.  We tried to go easy on him.

Ciuin has landed her dream job. She will be writing for Assembly of Roma, a political organization branching into the United States. They found her via Facebook.

George is beginning a re-write.

News

A new trend in book covers shows the aliens are coming and they’re naked bald women.

A new excuse for students: Amazon ate my homework.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, Aug 6th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Exodus Chapter 8, Nick passed out new copies.

Revelations Section 9, can be found at: http://saclark.com/SAC-6-NP.html

Thursday, Aug 13th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Events

OK, this will be a special Thursday, so mark your calendars.

We are going to have a writing contest. As Bill won the last one, I will be using prompts he chose.

We will also have a guest speaker. Catherine Schaff-Stump of the Kirkwood English Department is in the process of getting a young adult novel published by a small press. She is going to share some of her experiences with us. I will follow up with a more detailed bio.

Thursday, Aug 20th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Exodus Chapter 9, if Nick passes out new copies.

Open Slot- If no one else grabs this, I may bring in a piece that features space pirates. George- Chances Are

Writing Contest

Submissions due: Thursday, August 6th

Write a piece of flash fiction based on one of the following prompts–provided by Bill.

1. A visit to the dentist. Write about your protagonist’s reactions, or what he/she saw and heard from the other patients.
2. What does a dollar bill hear in a day’s travel
3. A fortune cookie comes true in an ironic way
4. The piano tuner. Use either his/her POV or a client’s.
5. Cat’s eye view – what does your pet see/think?
6. Junk drawer. Everybody has a place they put stuff that has no other place to belong. Write a story that uses several items from the junk drawer.

The winner will receive one of my writing books, or pie.

Keep Writing

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

July 23, 2009
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Stephen King’s first four novels were rejected. “This guy from Maine sent in this novel over the transom,” said Bill Thompson, his former editor at Doubleday. Mr. Thompson, sensing something there, asked to see subsequent novels, but still rejected the next three. However, King withstood the rejection, and Mr. Thompson finally bought the fifth novel, despite his colleague’s lack of enthusiasm, for $2,500. It was called Carrie.
–Noah Lukeman

Victories

Welcome Keyron McDermott, who attended her first meeting on the 16th.

Sherry says she really likes us, and we should not take the fact that she sold her house and is moving away at all personal.

Scott attended the Sci-Fi session at the UofI and give us a great rundown last night.

Becky’s last day will be next week. She believes she is all ready to go. Make an offer on her television.

Nick’s house has new paint on it.

Ciuin knocked out two articles Thursday morning–too bad they were due two weeks ago. We were going to give her a special procrastinator’s prize, but it isn’t ready yet.

News

Once again, this week is the RWA (Romance Writers of America) 29th Annual National Conference. For all the people who can not attend, Lynn Viehl has a list of online events which will coincide with the conference. In addition to these events, she will also be doing her Left Behind and Loving It online conference.

Agent Anne Hawkins talks about why good agents turn down good books.

The New York Times blogger David Proust has found a good reason not to like Amazon’s Kindle–unless you’re a publisher.

Scientists have finally figured out what we’ve known all along. Artists are mentally ill. Nine out of ten Tracy Morgans agree.

Upcoming Critiques

Thursday, July 23th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Quint’s Adventures, email Ciuin Ferrin for a copy.

A Convenient Truth email Ian for a copy.

Thursday, July 30th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Petty Theft revisions from Ciuin

Call of the Beast, Chapter One revised. I will have a copy on my website sometime this week.

Thursday, Aug 6th. Happy Chef, 7pm Welcome and Victories, 7:30pm Critique

Exodus Chapter 8, Nick passed out new copies.

Revelations Section 9, can be found at: http://saclark.com/SAC-6-NP.html

Keep Writing

Shannon