Noble Pen Meeting

May 19th, 2011
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

He had a collection of science-fiction films on DVD and Blu-ray discs, and although he said he’d seen most of them before, Caitlin was surprised to discover how many of the cases were still shrink-wrapped. “Why’d you buy them if you weren’t going to watch them?” she asked.

He looked at the tall, thin cabinets that contained the movies and seemed to ponder the question. “My childhood was on sale,” he said at last, “so I bought it.”

— Robert Sawyer (WWW: Watch)

Victories

Nyx is almost to the last chapter. Will she ever get to take her vacation?

Ciuin finished her final final. Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo.

One of my beta-readers started reading my novel. However, I have in on good authority that he has been side-tracked by a Friday 13th marathon.

Shannon 2  The second Shannon Female Shannon Shannon M joined us this week.

News

Forget witty headlines. They aren’t searchable. Which reminds me, I’ve decided to rename “Fangs for Nothing” to “Funny Vampire Beta-Male Story with Cross-Dressing and Slight Homo-Erotic Undertones.” I may call the sequel “Funny Vampire Beta-Male Story with Cross-Dressing and Slight Homo-Erotic Undertones 2.”

As you may have guessed from the quote above, I am currently reading Robert J. Sawyer’s WWW series. In case you did’t hear me the first 100 times I mentioned it, he’s got a nice section of writing tips on his website.

Upcoming Schedule

May 19th
(11) Kris
(11) Tony

May 26th
(11) Kelly Tyree
(11) Shannon R

June 2nd
(12) Nick
(12) Ciuin
(12) Tyree Kelly

June 9th
(12) Kris
(12) Tony

June 16th
(12) Shannon R
(12) Dylan

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon R

Noble Pen Meeting

May 12th, 2011
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.
–P. G. Wodehouse

Victories

Dylan sent out one story and got a rejection from another one. And he finished another commission. And he’s taking over the website. I don’t think he sleeps.

Tyree has conquered sodium. It is scheduled to be removed from the Periodic Table on Thursday.

Tony wrote 1000 words on the next installment of St. Lucy. Yes, there is a joke in there, but it’s much too dirty for Tony.

I went to DemiCon and hung out with some cool authors. They also don’t want to be my beta-readers.

News

From Galleycat comes the top 10 professions of romance story heroes. I hope you’re paying attention Kelly.

Here’s a guide on how to request a blurb.

Upcoming Schedule

May 12th
(11) Ciun
(11) Dylan

May 19th
(11) Kris
(11) Tony

May 26th
(11) Kelly
(11) Shannon

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

May 5th, 2011
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

If you’re writing about a character, if he’s a powerful character, unless you give him vulnerability I don’t think he’ll be as interesting to the reader.
–STAN LEE, interview, Mar. 13, 2006

Victories

Dylan submitted a story to torque press. They refuse to admit his existence.

Ciuin is winning.

News

From the LA writers group, what’s in it for the critiquer?

An article on agency agreements.

Housekeeping

First: A huge thank-you to Dylan for taking over the website from George.

Second: Starting next week, we will be going to 2 critiques a week. This is in response to complaints that we are hitting high word counts some weeks and low critique requests for the last scheduling session. After a couple sessions at this pace, we will reevaluate and decide how to tweak the system. Maybe we need to go back to three and set a lower, definite maximum?

Upcoming Schedule

May 5th
(10)Kris
(10)Tyree

May 12th
(11) Ciun
(11) Dylan

May 19th
(11) Kris
(11) Tony

May 26th
(11) Kelly
(11) Shannon

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

April 28th, 2011
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers.
— Richard Castle

Victories

I sent out four beta readers’ copies. Current count: I’ve lost count on how many I’ve sent out. None received back.

Ciuin finished another declaration for the artists’ initiative. She plans to let Sam Raimi know that his characters are cheap stereotypes. I doubt he will be surprised.

News

From George: A public domain copy of THE GREAT GADSBY. And you can read about the author here. Apparently, Wright never used the letter ‘E’ in the entire book, which mean he had as much luck with typewriters as Ciuin has with computers.

From Dylan: An nice article about how not to freak out while writing a novel. Actually, it’s not all that nice.

Upcoming Schedule

April 28th
(10)Shannon
(11) Tyree
Education -> Tyree

May 5th
(10)Kris
(10)Tyree

May 12th
(11) Ciun
(11) Dylan

May 19th
(11) Kris
(11) Tony

May 26th
(11) Kelly
(11) Shannon

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

April 21st, 2011
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

“Good Artists Borrow, Great Artists Steal”
–Attributed to Pablo Picasso

Well some people try to pick up girls
And get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and
So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
–“Pablo Picasso” by Johnathon Richman

Victories

Bob obtained a copy of Power Writer, dooming him to become Ciuin’s tech support.

The Artist’s Initiative asked Ciuin to be on their advisory board. I’m sure that entitles her to some great deals, like discounted coffee at McDonald’s or 10% off every stay at Howard Johnson.

Tony wrote 95% of Chapter Nine of Breaking History in one day.

News

Pimp My Novel wonders if the physical book will become a niche market like vinyl records.

From Dylan (imagine this in epic reverb): The Periodic Table of Storytelling

Upcoming Schedule

April 21th
(9)Kris
(9)Shannon
(9)Tony

April 28th
(10)Shannon
(11) Tyree
Education -> Tyree

May 5th
(10)Kris
(10)Tyree

May 12th
(11) Ciun
(11) Dylan

May 19th
(11) Kris
(11) Tony

May 26th
(11) Kelly
(11) Shannon

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

April 14th, 2011
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

It is written, “He who makes the best egg salad shall rule over heaven and earth.” Don’t ask me, “Why egg salad?” I’ve got enough aggravation.
–High Macha Of Rashpur, What’s Up, Tiger Lily?

Victories

Kris designed a t-shirt for a benefit pub crawl. It’s not really a writing victory, but it’s all we’ve got, so I’m using it.

News

In the “Publishers can’t do math” category, a small publisher explains why they take a loss every time they sell a book on Amazon.

Steal like a pro.

Upcoming Schedule

April 14th
(8)Tony
(9) Tyree
(9) Ciuin

April 21th
(9)Kris
(9)Shannon
(9)Tony

April 28th
(10)Shannon
Education -> Tyree

May 5th
(10)Kris
(10)Tyree

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

April 7th, 2011
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

“Ah, my daughter,? he said. ?Eighteen, and already you?ve been accused of murder, aided felons, and acquired a death count higher than most guardians will ever see.? He paused. ?I couldn?t be prouder.”
— Richelle Mead (Last Sacrifice)

Victories

Tyree got first runner up for Darrow Award. He refused to show us the tiara.

Bob’s story was published in Aiofe’s Kiss. I attribute this to his epic beard.

Back it up.

In celebration of the recently passed World Backup Day, March 31st, and in celebration of Ciuin’s recently deceased laptop, I was asked to send out a link to the utility that I use for backup.

The utility is called dropbox. Here is a video about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFb0NaeRmdg Basically, they give you two GB of free online storage and the best synchronization utility (Linux, Mac, or Windows) I’ve ever seen.

Here is a link to dropbox, which gives me referral credit. If you don’t want to give me a referral credit, find it yourself. (It’s really not that hard, the address is even in the video.)

News

From the Nathan Bransford forums, a scary story about finding an agent.

Some new editing marks that could be helpful.

Sure, Borders is closing hundreds of stores, but at least they can find time to give out executive bonuses for saving all that money, from closing all those stores. Maybe they should close all their stores, that would really save on operating costs. Or maybe they could keep one store open in Kansas; they could sell cozy mysteries and keep a couple cats.

Upcoming Schedule

April 7th
(8)Nick
(8)Kris
(8)Bill

April 14th
(8)Tony
(9) Tyree
(9) Ciuin

April 21th
(9)Kris
(9)Shannon
(9)Tony

April 28th
(10)Shannon
Education -> Tyree

May 5th
(10)Kris
(10)Tyree

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

March 31st, 2011
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I have found it easier to identify with the characters who verge upon hysteria, who were frightened of life, who were desperate to reach out to another person. But these seemingly fragile people are the strong people really.
–Tennessee Williams

Victories

Ian did a thing with another thing, neither of which I clearly understand.

Ciuin has to write a declaration, press pack, and a letter to invite the Artists Initiative spokesperson, a person who is not Roma, but looks like he is.

The USGS has made a correction based on mistake that Bill found. Due to a snowball effect, we will be forced to cede Detroit to Ontario. So far, Ontario has refused.

News

Ambrose Bierce sucks at humor.–Samuel L Clemens

From Mandy Hubbard, slush works.

In a role reversal spectacular Barry Eisler turned down a $500,000 book deal in order to self publish while self-published superstar Amanda Hocking signed a $2Million, 4 book deal with St. Martin.

Upcoming Schedule

March 31st
(8) Tyree
(8)Ciuin
(8)Shannon

April 7th
(8)Nick
(8)Kris
(8)Mark

April 14th
(8)Tony
(9) Tyree
(9) Ciuin

April 27th
(9)Kris
(9)Shannon
(9)Tony

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

March 24th, 2011
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

“Pass the word for Chief Campeti. Have him issue rifles and sidearms to any deck personnel not part of the gun crews. Prepare to repel boarders.” Matt was struck by the strangeness of the order even as he gave it. Probably not since the War of 1812 had the captain of a U.S. warship given the order to repel boarders on the high seas.
— Taylor Anderson, Into the Storm: Destroyermen, Book I

Victories

Tyree will be attending MidSouthCon. He is up for a Darrow award. Maybe Rick Gervais will present it.

I sent my piece out to a fifth beta reader.

Cuiun wrote a declaration for the artists initiative against Romaphobia, which was signed by Dr. Ian Hancock, President of the Romani Nation in the United States. I wrote a declaration on a men’s room wall once, it was not as enthusiastically received.

News

This is an example of a bad query letter.

John Cleese on creativity.

Upcoming Schedule

March 24nd
(7) Bill
(7) Ciuin
(7) Educational

March 31st
(8) Tyree
(8)Ciuin
(8)Shannon

April 7th
(8)Nick
(8)Kris
(8)Mark

April 14th
(8)Tony
(9) Tyree
(9) Ciuin

April 27th
(9)Kris
(9)Shannon
(9)Tony

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

March 17th, 2011
Scott’s Family Restaurant
1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Asgoths of Crea. During a recitation by their poetmaster Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem “Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in my Armpit One Midsummer Morning” four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the mid-galactic Arts Knobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been “disappointed” by the poem’s reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled “My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles” when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.
–Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Sometimes writing is like pounding a brick wall with a ball-peen hammer in hopes the barricade will evolve into a revolving door.
— Chuck Klosterman

Victories

Tyree has gotten is 141st story accepted. It will appear in Potter’s Field–the magazine, not the housing development.

Kris finished the illustration for her story, and she was offered a sale for another illustration.

John sent out work to beta readers. Sadly, he won’t be joining us anymore.

Ciuin has been asked to write another declaration and a speech. Her first declaration will be published in the EU within the next month. Despite all her fame, she still hangs out with us.

Dylan got paid for his commission. He was paid in chocolate coins.

I sent stuff off to beta readers. So far, there have been no attempts on my life.

News

Nathan Bransford blogs about why ebooks can cost more than hardcovers. Personally, I just think publishers are bad at math.

From The Onion Why Haven’t We Finished Our Novel?

Upcoming Schedule

March 17h
(7) Shannon
(7) Tony
(7) Kris

March 24nd
(7) Bob
(7) Ciuin
(7) Educational

March 31st
(8) Tyree
(8)Ciuin
(8)Shannon

April 7th
(8)Nick
(8)Kris
(8)Mark

April 14th
(8)Tony
(9t) Tyree
(9t) Ciuin

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon