Noble Pen Meeting

September 9nd, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Drop your weapons. You’re surrounded by armed bastards.
–Gene Hunt, Life on Mars

He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
–Douglas Adam, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

These T-shirts were tested on animals. They didn’t fit.
–Merchandise from BBC’s Top Gear

Victories

Nick had two rejections from the same magazine. The second one was just a crude drawing of an Italian hand gesture.

Ciuin started a blog and is writing or pasting in something new every day. Looks like she’s already behind. Taunt her.

Tyree lent a book to Ciuin who has not returned it yet–if she did, the door would keep blowing closed.

News

Sir Terry Pratchett talks about dealing with death while writing fantasy.

Editor and writing coach Daphne Gray-Grant writes about the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Writers.

Upcoming Schedule

September 9th
Tyree
Dylan
Shannon

September 16th
Tony
Nick
Mark

September 23rd
Dylan
Bob
Dave

September 30th
Ian
Dylan
Educational Programming — Shannon

October 7th
Tony
Ciuin
Bob

October 14th
Shannon
Tyree
Open slot

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

September 2nd, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

My name is Victoria Winters. My journey is beginning, a journey that I hope will open the doors of life to me and link my past with my future, a journey that will bring me to a strange and dark place, to the edge of the sea, high atop Widows’ Hill, a house called Collinwood, a world I’ve never known, with people I’ve never met, people who tonight are still only shadows in my mind, but who will soon fill the days and nights of my tomorrows.
–Opening Monologue, Dark Shadows, Episode 1, 1966

Victories

Ciuin has been asked to take a class which will make her a writing fellow. I think this means we’ll have to address her as “My fine fellow.”

Dylan got a reader’s choice and editor’s choice for his last contest entry. He also has a new commission. It’s a sick world out there.

Tony was able to struggle through and prepare his chapter for next week, despite the ongoing Mafia Wars. Why can’t the mafias just get along?

Housekeeping

We decided on 3 changes to scheduling last week.

1. We will be going to 3 critiques a week, starting September 9th. I am going to adjust the schedule below. Please note your new dates and tell me if there are any changes you need made.

B. We will suspend scheduling for the next few weeks to make room for further discussion and see how the 3 per week works.

Pi. We will return to scheduling at least one educational program per month instead of just scheduling when we have an empty slot. I’m volunteering for the first slot, there’s been something I wanted to try all summer.

News

Janet Reid posted something older than God. I still find it very funny.

Character, character, character, character, character, character. Oh, and did I mention character?

Upcoming Schedule

September 2nd
Nick
Tony

September 9th
Tyree
Dylan
Shannon

September 16th
Tony
Dave
Mark

September 23rd
Dylan
Bob
Nick

September 30th
Ian
Dylan
Educational Programming — Shannon

October 7th
Tony
Ciuin
Bob

October 14th
Shannon
Tyree
Open slot

Keep Writing, Penites.

Shannon

Noble Pen Meeting

August 19th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That’s the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about.
–Chuck Palahniuk

Victories

Rachel earned a dollar through creative effort.

Tyree wrote, edited, and submitted a piece in one week and it has already been accepted.

News

You know why you can’t get your experimental novel published? You’re not Keith Hernandez.But there is good news, this is all you need to get started towards that goal. In full disclosure, until five minutes ago, I had no idea who Keith Hernandez was, but I picked up through context that he was someone.

Yet another piece on dialog tags.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

August 12th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Somewhere along the way though, Russell had made a conscious decision to turn his back on the law and a life of the status quo. He revealed his homosexuality to his friends and, eventually, his family. He forsook the teachings of his childhood, and embraced a life of crime. It was a life in which he flourished, for the most part. But more than his talents as a thief and a confidence man, it would be the flamboyant, nonviolent brilliance of his jail and prison escapes–usually on Friday the 13th–that would eventually earn the affable, quick-witted, but occasionally vengeful Russell a national reputation in law enforcement and the media. He was known as the King of Con.
–Steve Mcvicker, I Love  You, Phillip Morris

Victories

Nick is finally going to get his story back from his editor–and then the pain will really begin. He also might be interested if anyone has a lead on a good used vehicle–he’s all right, but his truck is gone.

Ciuin went to Philadelphia for an intensive writing class. She visited the Cheeseburger Palace, which looked suspiciously like a Hardee’s.

Tyree snagged a Robert J. Sawyer story for Aoife’s Kiss. Robert J. Sawyer is probably the most important Canadian, after William Shatner and Kiefer Sutherland.

Bill submitted his misheard song lyric flash fiction to “A Fly in Amber.”

News

From IO9, James Marsters tips for supervillains. Marsters has played villains on Buffiy the Vampire Slayer, Smallville,  and Torchwood.

Barnes and Noble has announced it’s open to selling itself, which is a great disappointment to it’s parents.

Google has announced that through advanced mathematics, they have determined there are 130 million books in the world. Google will be scanning them and making them available in enema form by late 2017.

The Rejectionist is hosting a Feminist Science Fiction week for those of you who currently are or are interested in becoming female.

Words of Wisdom

Between victories and the first critique next week, Tyree is going to share some ideas on writing hooks.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

August 5th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Kirk: All is well. And yet I can’t help wondering about the friend I leave behind. “There are always possibilities,” Spock said. And if Genesis is indeed life from death, I must return to this place again
Bones: He’s not really dead, as long as we remember him.
–Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan

George: What were you saying to the Rosses over there, anyway?
Jerry: Oh, I don’t know. I told them her death takes place in the shadow of new life. She’s not really dead if we find a way to remember her.
George: What is that?
Jerry: Star Trek II.
–Seinfeld Episode 135, The Foundation

Victories

Rachel read both stories for this week while riding a horse and didn’t fall off–I might have gotten something mixed around there.

Dave got word that an online publication is going to run “Snake Eyed Sue.” For reasons of national security, he can’t tell us where.

Tony got his piece out on time this week despite a complete re-write at the last minute. I’m still not sure I understood the bit where he gave the pig a bath.

News

According to the “Gender Genie,” I write like a female. That thing has to be broken.

Lifehacker has their 5 favorite book recommendation services. I get me better recommendations from Dylan.

Cnet has an article on ways to self-publish your ebooks. Their tip #1 is: Write a good book. Thanks guys. Thanks for sharing.

Some Fun

A mini-assignment for the next week. Think of your favorite villain from fiction and a one sentence description of why you chose that person.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

July 22th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Man, you’re like school during the summer. No class.
-Rudy, Fat Albert

TURK: You’re like a 24 hour convenience store. You never close.
JD:  That’s like a Fat Albert joke.
–Scrubs

Victories

Dylan’s last commission was not his last commission as he now has a new commission, which is new.

Mark submitted a book proposal to an open call, he has not yet got a chance to submit anything to the group, so he should do well.

Ciuin leaves next Thursday for Philadelphia, the polar opposite of the planet Venus.

Tyree will be as OSFest teaching people how to write and serenading  the dealer room with his rich baritone voice and collection of off-color sea shanties.

After his abduction by the benevolent aliens of Mastadon VI, Tony has decided to wrap several of his short stories into a novel.

News

Agent Andrew Wylie has sold exclusive e-book right to Amazon for a group of authors including Norman Mailer and John Updike. The publishers of their paper books, whose contract were written before e-book were a reality, are calling foul.

In more e-book news, Amazon is now selling more e-books than hardcovers. Wow!

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

July 22th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

Super automatic pilot motor running down circles in the parking lot
Self-sustaining system bit her in the neck and quick and kissed her and took all she got
Did you come here to dance?
Whats in your glass?
Do you feel better?
–OK GO, Let it Rain

Victories

Dylan’s commission was accepted without edits. His patron is probably going all Karate Kid right now–that’s and old school Karate Kid joke, you know: Wax on…

George wrote an ad which has run on three podcasts and it scheduled for one more. I imagine it something like this.

Tyree used email to reply to everyone on the list and was shocked to find out just how many of you are lurking out there.

News

This tool has book going around the internet: Find out who you write like.

For all you non-fiction guys, here’s how you write a book proposal.

I’ve always wondered about this.  A YA writer talks about how to keep up with the kids.

Carl East from Hull topped Apples’s iBookstore charts with his novel “Incest Urges of a Nymphomaniac.” Coming up next on Sick Sad World.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

July 15th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about.
–Oscar Wilde

Victories

Tyree’s fantasy story Acorns is being considered by the Darrell Award jury. It is not known at this time what they consider it.

Tyree will be putting out a magazine of Cosmic Crime Stories, sci-fi pulp detective stories. Remember there are 2^22.931 stories in the naked city.

Dave’s picture of the Abbey Creek school will go on the cover of a pamphlet about Mt. Vernon. Sadly, they aren’t letting him do any words.

I got a piece on the Six Sentences blog. Just a thousand more good sentences, and I ‘ll have a novel.

Dylan finished his last commission piece, but he has lost his best customer to matrimony–the customer’s that is, Dylan’s already married.

Tony has figured out what the short story he is writing is about. Hopefully, it’s something awesome.

News

A new study shows that kids who have books to read over summer vacation do better in school. Well, duh.

Once again, IO9 has a great gallery of pulp covers.

Upcoming Schedule

Noble Pen Meeting

July 8th, 2010
Happy Chef, 1906 Blairs Ferry Rd NE, Cedar Rapids

I wanna be a cowboy baby
Ridin’ at night ’cause I sleep all day
Cowboy baby
I can smell a pig from a mile away
–Kid Rock, Cowboy

It never takes longer than a few minutes, when they get together, for everyone to revert to the state of nature, like a party marooned by a shipwreck. That’s what a family is. Also the storm at sea, the ship, and the unknown shore. And the hats and the whiskey stills that you make out of bamboo and coconuts. And the fire that you light to keep away the beasts.
–Michael Chabon, The Yiddish Policeman’s Union

Victories

Ciuin is go for her intensive class in Philadelphia. Something, something, cheese steak, Rocky V.

George’s podcast is going well, he’s getting good feedback from the artists whose music he’s playing in his podcasts, and it has been 12 days since his last OSHA reportable accident.

Rachel schooled me in the fact that not all women dig Doctor Who for the beefcake.

News

Gregory Levey tells us how having 700,000 Facebook fans can be a bad thing.

More advice from editors. This time it’s Cat Rambo of Fantasy Magazine. Cat Rambo, I wonder if that’s an assumed name.

Here is an article about idea generation which talks about the rule of 20, the idea that you have to have 20 ideas before you have an original one. Personally, I’ve never had 20 ideas.

Upcoming Schedule